Blog | LGBT History Month – PC Ashley Toner-Maxwell

PC Ashley Toner-Maxwell – Police Scotland

As a child I absolutely loved sports. I grew up skateboarding and playing football with the boys. So it was a real shame I missed out on so much PE in high school. While the boys played rugby or football outdoors, I spent some PE lessons alone in the changing rooms. Back in the early 2000s it was commonplace for high schools in Scotland to have strictly gendered PE classes. The girls were expected to dance and dancing made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. It still does! It felt like such an injustice. I was 13, and I was being denied doing activities I enjoyed purely because of my gender.

I felt a similar feeling of injustice and confusion when I joined Strathclyde Police as a Special Constable in 2010. I distinctly remember being issued my uniform in a large games hall with the rest of my mostly male cohort. I couldn’t understand why the women were issued cravats and bowler style hats and the men were issued ties and peaked cap style hats. Why, I thought, did the organisation not get rid of the bowler hats and cravats back in the 70s when the skirts, handbags and smaller batons were deemed sexist? It felt repressive. It didn’t cross my mind at that time that there might have been someone in the room who didn’t identify as exclusively male or female. It wouldn’t be until much later in my career I’d recognise the implications of gendered headwear for my non-binary colleagues.

I joined the regular constabulary in 2011 and as I progressed through my first few years, I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable wearing my bowler hat. To me, it reinforced gender stereotypes, made an unnecessary distinction between male and female officers and most significantly, presented a real problem for my non-binary colleagues. I belonged to an organisation committed to positive action and inclusivity yet the unavailability of a gender neutral hat did not align with its values of fairness, integrity and respect.

It wasn’t until 2017 I finally acquired a police baseball cap. At the time it was only worn by public order, firearms and a small number of other specialist officers regardless of their gender. I started to wear it routinely on shift instead of my bowler hat which I promised myself I’d never wear again in support of my non-binary colleagues. I was challenged several times by supervisors as at that time the baseball cap wasn’t compliant with the uniform standards of a response officer. I viewed every confrontation as an opportunity to explain the detrimental impact the current uniform policy was having on some of my colleagues.

In 2018 I took my concerns to the Scottish LGBTI Police Association. I felt heard, validated and empowered to be involved in making a change. I had been a member of the Association since I joined the police but had never been actively involved. It was at this point I decided to join the committee and take on the role of Welfare & Wellbeing rep.

The Scottish LGBTI Police Association, in acknowledgement that gendered headwear directly affected some of its members, worked tirelessly for change at every available opportunity.

On the 28th of August 2019 Police Scotland published a memo granting permission for all officers to wear gender neutral headwear (in the form of the police baseball cap) should they wish to do so. Although an interim solution, I felt delighted and relieved by the news. This was one of the biggest changes to uniform policy in many years. The Scottish LGBTI Police Association are now focusing efforts on the move to one single, gender neutral style of hat for all.

This experience taught me the importance of being persistent, the influence of staff associations and the power in always standing up for what you believe in. I now feel very comfortable in my uniform in the knowledge that Police Scotland understands and respects the importance of gender identity and expression for LGBT+ staff.

 

                    “If you are neutral in situations of injustice you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

                                                                                                                                                         Desmond Tutu

Blog | My Coming Out Story – Supt Paul Court

My Coming Out Story…

“In coming out, I want to be the person I was born. I want to be able to enjoy my successes without having the issue hanging over me. I want to be able to find somebody to share my life with”

This is an extract from my coming out letter. It took me four years to draft. At the time I wrote:

“I have thought about telling you all at some point but the occasion never feels right. And when it does, I worry about the reaction that I will get. So I have written what I need to say in a letter. It’s probably the wimp’s way out. That said, writing this letter is the hardest thing I have ever had to do”.

I never did send the letter but instead I shared it in person with Joanne, my sister, shortly after having nearly been found out one evening in March 2011 when my mum came to my house unexpectedly to tell me about the death of my grandad. A frantic panic ensued as I attempted to hide the secret boyfriend whilst my mum stood outside (my contingency plans hadn’t considered the ‘death message’ scenario!) Needless to say, the kerfuffle then prompted some inquisitive questions from the family. In the nine months that followed, I would share the letter with each family member one at a time. Each time was as equally traumatic as the previous, albeit it never needed to be.

When I share my coming out story with others, I usually get asked the same curious questions and so I thought I would try to answer these questions using direct extracts from my coming out letter:

When did you know you were gay?

“I have known since high school and I have done everything I can to change. I have thought about how I can get rid of this secret every day for the last ten years”.
Why didn’t you come out earlier?

“The main reason is that until now, I haven’t been able to accept who I am. I’ve hoped it will go away and that I will meet a girl (I’ve tried that and it didn’t work!) I also haven’t told you because I worry about the consequences of people knowing I’m gay, both in my private life and in my work life. I’m not expecting that everyone is going to take this well. I accept that I may have fewer friends than I started with. I am accepting that I am likely to be subject to abuse, prejudice, discrimination and people talking behind my back. I am accepting that I will forever have to correct people about the assumptions they make. I am accepting that I may lose people close to me who can’t accept me for who I am. I am accepting that I may hurt people when they find out I have been dishonest with them.”

So what happened when you came out?

“I hope everyone who reads this letter feels they are able to speak to me openly about my sexuality. I hope that I will have the same support from my family and friends that I have always had. I hope that my friends still want to be my friends because they like me for who I am. I hope my family can still feel proud of what I have achieved and will go
on to achieve. I hope you have the strength and courage to be able to tell people I am gay without shame and to defend me from those who mock. I hope I will have your discretion and support.”

The good news is that all my hopes were realised. My family, friends and colleagues without exception, provided unwavering support. But whilst I have told you about how I first came out, coming out isn’t a single event. And it doesn’t always happen on your own terms, for instance when the Command Team secretary read my vetting form without my knowledge and found out I was gay before any of my family. Or when I was homophobically assaulted in the city centre which effectively outed me to the whole organisation (the offender received six months imprisonment). Or the many occasions when I am asked about my wife and have to correct people (or sometimes not if I feel too awkward doing so). And whilst it does get easier, each time is stressful and each time requires a quick decision as to whether it is safe.

So, what can we do to help? Well from my own experiences, there are a few simple things we could all commit to on National Coming Out Day to help others:

  1. If your colleague avoids talking about their weekends or time off, be sensitive to the fact that there may be a reason for that.
  2. Consider your use of language when asking about someone’s partner so as to avoid assuming their gender. It is the most common cause of my repeated ’coming out’.
  3. At the point someone comes out to you, know that they may be at their most vulnerable and it may have taken them years to build up the courage to say those words to you. Be kind, be compassionate, be sensitive. It is a huge compliment that they trust you.
  4. Challenge processes within your force that may out people e.g. vetting forms being passed to line managers rather than direct to the force vetting unit. In doing so you are helping those who can’t speak up for fear of outing themselves.

These simple things will undoubtedly make life a little easier for those who aren’t out. As I sign off, I wanted to finish with a final last extract from my letter:

“No matter how scared I feel at the moment at the consequences of sending this letter, I feel like the biggest burden has been lifted from my shoulders”

Whilst coming out was the hardest thing I have done, it was the best decision I made in lifting the biggest burden. Thought it wasn’t only me it impacted. After reading this blog Joanne messaged me:

“I remember your coming out to me extremely vividly. On that day, my life changed and I suddenly saw all the minorities in the world in a different way. It made me a significantly better person”.

Until next time…

Paul

P.S. If you are considering coming out or you are the parent of a child who you think may be LGBT+, this Stonewall page has some really helpful guidance.

 

Written by Superintendent Paul Court, LGBT Reserve for the National Executive Committee of the Police Superintendents Association.

You can find more information about Supt Court in the ‘Our People’ area here.

Event | Hosting the National LGBT+ Police Conference 2021

 

Working together to improve policing services and workplaces

On Thursday 16 September, several hundred colleagues from police and related organisations across England and Wales joined the online National LGBT+ Police Conference 2021, this year hosted by Avon and Somerset Police.

Bringing together police officers, police staff and partner organisations, the conference aimed to equip attendees with fresh and innovative ideas and actions, to create a brighter and more inclusive future for LGBT+ individuals and communities.

The traditionally-annual event, which was postponed from July 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic, is the seventh of its kind to be held, but the first to take place online.  It was attended both by delegates who identify as LGBT+ and those who wish to support and act as active allies to the LGBT+ community.

 Under the theme of Inclusive Policing, a range of topics – from addressing domestic abuse and violence to inclusive leadership – were considered from an LGBT+ viewpoint.  Those attending heard from a diverse array of speakers from within and beyond policing – including Avon and Somerset Police’s Temporary Chief Constable Sarah Crew who spoke on leadership and allyship – and had the opportunity to share innovation, good practices, views and experiences.

The event was highly praised by those attending as “inspirational”.   Delegates, many of whom had made personal pledges of positive action during the event, spoke afterwards about the joy of being able to connect with colleagues from other parts of the UK and being energised by what they had seen and heard.

 

Policing for everyone

Avon and Somerset Police Chief Officer for People and Organisational Development Dan Wood, who is the organisation’s Inclusion, Diversity and LGBT+ lead, said:

“We believe passionately that policing is for everyone, so in every aspect of what we do we must make sure that all people are supported, valued and respected, regardless of their background – this includes people of different identities and sexual orientations.

“We are painfully aware that LGBT+ people in our communities and our workforce can experience prejudice, hate and discrimination as they go about their daily lives. There should be no place for that.  We are committed to tackling crimes against the LGBT+ community and take issues of concern extremely seriously.

“We pride ourselves on our commitment to equality, diversity and inclusion and making life better for our communities.  Delivering a national conference which will help many in policing to be better informed and able to tackle the issues facing our LGBT+ communities and colleagues, has been a proud milestone in the history of Avon and Somerset Police.”

 

To find out more about our inclusive culture, head to: Our inclusive culture | Avon and Somerset Police